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By Ed Barnes, Staff Writer
The Hype-A-Tron 4000: Don't Leave the Combine Without It
Need more publicity for your client? Need national name recognition? Need to find a way to insert yourself into water cooler conversations nationwide? Need to start getting mentioned on television by the traffic cop of hype Mel Kiper Jr.? You could always let your performance speak for itself but that takes years for most media outlets to notice. Instead, try out the Hype-A-Tron 4000.
The Hype-A-Tron 4000 has been used by a variety of NFL draftees over the past several years to increase their draft status and will be on display at the NFL Combine and "pro days" around the country.
If you are an NFL agent or potential draftee, you probably know that the period leading up to the draft is as crucial to you or your client's draft status as anything done on the football field over multiple seasons of College Football. An SEC All-Conference pick at linebacker three years in a row? Good for you, but be prepared to be an afterthought in the draft process because people are talking about the linebacker from a D-2 school that has tremendous "upside."
The Hype-A-Tron 4000 has been carefully crafted to spit out key catch phrases that are in vogue with the sports media at this time. Terms such as length, upside, instincts, intangibles, burst and student of the game all will help the national media jump on your bandwagon as a potential draftee and raise your profile to the teams scouting you.
Are you a great physical specimen who has trouble making reads after the snap on either side of the ball? The Hype-A-Tron 4000 will create a public relations blitz focusing on how you have one of the best 40-yard dash times in the draft at your position. While your 40 time might not tell how great football player someone is, it is hypnotic to not only the media but also to player personnel directors whose eyes check a 40 time immediately after height, weight and position.
Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum where you performed on the field for a couple of years in college but don't have the 40 time of vertical jump of other players at your position. Don't worry, the Hype-A-Tron 4000 will bombard the media with reminders of how you were a finalist for various awards and tout you as a player with great "leadership abilities" who "can really make plays."
"I don't know how I would have gotten Willis McGahee into the first round a couple of years ago without the Hype-A-Tron 4000," said agent Drew Rosenhaus. "Willis managed to perform in one workout for scouts where he ran in a straight line and did some squats and bench presses. While it was a remarkable recovery from his knee injury, most players would have to perform some football related motions to get noticed. With the Hype-A-Tron 4000, Willis only had to do what he was capable of at the time and the media made him into a god."
Other players that have benefited from the Hype-A-Tron 4000 include former University of Oregon and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Akili Smith. "I was a seventh rounder starting my senior year but I managed to light up the Pac-10 for one season and the Hype-A-Tron 4000 took care of the rest," Smith said. "Sometimes I wasn't able to make fast reads but the Hype-A-Tron managed to keep the idea fresh in everyone's head that I had great arm strength, athletic ability and was a guy who could make all the throws. Once the media started repeating it, I rose to number three in the draft."
The Hype-A-Tron's greatest success story might be former Boston College and Philadelphia Eagle LB/DE Mike Mamula. This player was able to wow scouts with his physical ability and move from the early second round all the way to the ninth pick in the draft thanks to his 40-time, leaping ability and agility. "I don't know how to thank the Hype-A-Tron," said Mamula. "I was a fringe first round prospect but once the Hype-A-Tron publicized my workouts, I moved up the draft boards of teams in a hurry. I was good at Boston College but my workouts and the Hype-A-Tron helped me than any of my performances for BC."
The Hype-A-Tron 4000 is available to anyone who is looking to get a message firmly planted into the media and general public's perception. Whatever deficiencies you have, don't worry about them. The Hype-A-Tron will tout your strengths to the point where people will forget that other aspects of football even exist. While prices may vary for the Hype-A-Tron to sufficiently get the message out there, you are guaranteed to see a greater return when you're draft standing improves and your rookie contract is double what you expect it to be right now.
The Hype-A-Tron 4000. Because if you repeat something enough times, people will eventually believe it.
File last modified May 15, 2011
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