New Ballpark Promotions for 2003
In a very fan-friendly move, Arizona Diamondbacks owner Jerry Colangelo
has designated the 10 minutes following batting practice at home games as
a time for fans to get autographs. Every player on the D-Backs, except
for that night's starting pitcher, must participate. With that in mind,
here are some other fan-friendly promotions that some teams should run for
2003:
New York Yankees Throw Money Away Night. George Steinbrenner comes out
and gives $100 each to the first 10,000 fans. George has the last laugh,
though, as the c-note doesn't cover the price of the ticket.
Boston Red Sox Beat the Curse of the Bambino. Each day after batting
practice, one row at random will have a chance to beat a pinata Babe Ruth.
Packed inside are "There's always next year!" t-shirts.
Baltimore Orioles Where Are You From Wednesdays. Every Wednesday, the
person from the location farthest from Camden Yards gets to sit in the
owner's box. Peter Angelos uses this in his argument against a team in
the D.C. Area, as that's barely the front edge of where Orioles fans are
from!
Tampa Bay Devil Rays You are the Team. The first 25 people in the
stands get to play that day's game. This isn't a promotion; it's every
game. In case there aren't 25 people there, you can call your friends.
Minnesota Twins Hefty Bag Night. To replace the Homer Hanky, Carl
Pohlad comes up with the ingenious idea to invite fans to bring Hefty bags
to the ballpark to wave when a ball hits the big one in the outfield.
Afterwards, the fans can clean up the mess so Pohlad doesn't have to pay a
janitorial staff.
Chicago White Sox Beat the Coach Night. Should I even go into this one?
Cleveland Indians Be the Team Night. Everyone in the front row
gradually has to move back. The amount of rows back is indicated by how
far down in the standings they have dropped.
Detroit Tigers Pray for Rain Night. Again, no explanation needed.
Oakland A's Trade Night. See if Billy Beane can work you in a trade for
some young prospects. The better prospects you get, the better the free
seats to the next night's game!
Texas Rangers You Be the Pitcher Night. Similar to the Devil Ray's
promotion, except that fans are picked at random by seat number to start
warming up in the bullpen. Usually starts in the 2nd or 3rd inning.
New York Mets Oldtimer's Night. All fans over 35 are invited into one
of those air-machine cash booths. Grand prize is a 2 year, $10 million
contract.
Montreal Expos Relocation Night. Every night, the concessions sell
local favorites of the cities that are in the lead to land the Expos in 2004.
Philadelphia Phillies Larry Bowa Thursdays. Every Thursday, fans are
encouraged to throw hissy fits in the style of Larry Bowa. The best fan
is then traded to the Cardinals.
Florida Marlins Raise the Roof. Every day, the first 10,000 fans
receive pieces of a roof. Of course, then they have to start building one
on Pro Player.
Houston Astros Name the Stadium (Opening) Night. Fans come up with
suggestions as to what the home ballpark shoud be named for that year.
The name of the ballpark will be voted on by a panel of judges including
Kenneth Lay.
Cincinnati Reds Pete Rose Betting Night. The fans will have their
chance to bet on anything in the park, including whether or not Marge
Schott utters an obsenity from her "bad" seats.
Chicago Cubs Poison Ivy Day. One unannounced day per year, the outfield
ivy is switches to poison ivy. While the Cub players will be stocked with
Calamine lotion, the away players won't be. Fans at a future game will
win prizes, depending on where they are sitting, for the opposing
outfielder that misses the most games.
Milwaukee Brewers No Beer Night. Again unnanounced, fans in the section
that starts the riot will win Brewers gear.
San Francisco Giants Toddler Bat Boy Night. Now YOUR three year old can
be a bat boy to Barry Bonds! Details at the park.
Colorado Rockies Beans and Clam Chowder Night. Nothing major, but
SOMETHING has to be done to make the air thicker in that park.
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